Got home with that calm rush of someone back from plans, just wanting to sit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Kicked off my beat-up sneakers at the door \u2014 right lace untied again on the way. Put stuff away \u2014 Gol keys on the table, orange backpack in the corner \u2014 and went to boot up the PC.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
While it loaded (those endless seconds), I grabbed my phone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Refreshed Instagram.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And there she was.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Her face in the feed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Clicked before thinking.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Photo opened: her face, gorgeous, that smile..Caption:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201c21 days until my birthday and I\u2019m already excited \ud83c\udf82\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I just stared.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Admiring.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Beautiful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Liked it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then the impulse \u2014 fast, urgent, simple:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou look beautiful.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Three words.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But my fingers didn\u2019t move.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Thumb hovering over the screen, photo still open.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Looking.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Admiring.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Thinking.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Is this the moment?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Should I?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What now?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The PC had finished booting. Screen glowing beside me, waiting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But I was stuck \u2014 thumb on the photo, mind looping.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Until\u2026 I put the phone down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Breathed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Opened Claude on the PC.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Twelve days since I sent that dream text.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Twelve days since she saw it but didn\u2019t reply.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Twelve days since I wrote about \u201cclosing cycles\u201d and \u201cnot waiting for replies\u201d\u2026 or waiting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yeah, I care, and life happens.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And now here I was again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Wanting to comment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Wanting to say something.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Wanting\u2026 I don\u2019t know. To exist for her again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But the moment had changed. Now it said more about me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What would I do?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Act again? Make it happen again?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Told Claude everything.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The photo. The impulse. The loop.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He listened \u2014 or read \u2014 with that patient, ironic vibe of someone who knows where this is going.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then he gave it back, point by point, exactly what I already knew:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhat do you gain?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou already did your part.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cLet her come to you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I read every word like watching a mirror talk.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Opened her stories again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He was right.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I knew he was right.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But I still needed to hear it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Needed someone to say out loud what was already decided inside.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Claude laughed \u2014 that silent text laugh:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou just came here to hear what you already knew, didn\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Touch\u00e9.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Instagram still open on the phone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yeah, I already knew what to do!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
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